To Be Wanted and Needed
by A. Zap
Summary: Sam doesn't get why Castiel doesn't hang out with them anymore. It used to be that Cas would try to stick around as long as possible. Sam comes to a startling realization and then actually does something about it, because Dean's not going to do it on his own. General fic.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. For real.**

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><p><span>To Be Wanted and Needed<span>

Sam didn't get why Cas didn't hang out with them anymore.

He was more noticeable now that the Metatron and Demon Dean situations had been solved. Castiel never stayed too long, and he wouldn't stay at the Bunker.

Before Cas had the excuse of having to track down Metatron, but that was all solved. For now. Unless he somehow managed to escape from Heaven's prison. Seriously, why hadn't Cas killed him?

The thing with Cas's grace was mostly solved. For now. Until it started to go out and he was actively dying again, but that hadn't seemed too bad last time. Right?

The thing with Dean being a demon was also solved. For now. He still had the Mark of Cain though, so that had to be controlled and he would probably turn back into a demon if he died again.

Okay, so maybe things weren't as resolved as Sam hoped. Also, this thing with Rowena was probably going to come back and bite them, but there wasn't much they could do, as they had no clue where she was.

Still, it was odd that Cas didn't really stick around. In the past, he had always tried to stay as long as he could, but now he scrammed once he and Dean didn't need any more help. He gave some vague answers about helping Hannah find rogue angels who refused to return to Heaven, but it really didn't make sense.

Anyway, it was making Dean pissy. He called Sam a bitch, but when Cas wasn't around, he acted like a pining teenage girl. Sam already had enough to worry about when it came to Dean going on a Mark-induced rampage without having to deal with his moping and drunken ramblings about how Cas always ditches him.

Sam decided to take a step back and look at this almost like it was a case. After all, he was the brains and the researcher, so he could figure this out. Castiel never did anything without reason. There had to be some reason why he was staying away.

Castiel wasn't being pursued by anyone, either Hell, Purgatory, or Heaven oriented, so that wasn't the reason. He also wasn't currently, actively dying, so he wasn't trying to spare them from having to watch him die. He definitely wasn't making deals with demons and working with them. Cas wasn't off fighting demons, searching for God, or following orders from on high. He wasn't trying to keep them safe by staying away.

So what could the reason be?

When the answer finally came, Sam could have slapped himself. It was so obvious, and he was supposed to be the Winchester who was in tune with his emotions.

Cas didn't think they wanted him around. He thought that they didn't _need_ him around.

It was obvious why he would think that way.

After Castiel's grace had been stolen, Dean had basically kicked him to the curb multiple times. When he had first come to the Bunker, when Dean and he worked that case in Redford, when he tried to help with the case where angels were slaughtering each other, Dean had pushed him away from shelter and turned away his offers for help.

It had made Sam so angry, especially after learning about Gadreel, that Dean could have treated Cas like that when he needed them the most. It pissed him off more that Dean had given Cas absolutely nothing. Yeah, he could understand why he would have kicked Cas out of the Bunker, but that doesn't explain why he didn't give Cas any money, clothes, place to go, or even a fake credit card to help him start a new life. Sam had seen red when Cas had told him the details of what had really happened. It hadn't even been that the angel was complaining about it since he could understand Dean's reasons and he, of course, had forgiven him. Still, Castiel had had nothing, and it made him mad that they had done nothing to help someone that they claimed was both a friend and a member of their family.

Of course, in this case, Sam hadn't really helped. Both at the time, and afterwards, Sam knew that he had contributed to what Cas thinks. After healing him and trying to locate Gadreel with that sample of grace, Cas had looked at him, so hopeful, when he had suggested that they work together. And Sam had told him that they were good and didn't really need his help. Then, when looking for Dean and after that one incident with a demon, Sam had told Castiel that he didn't need his help as he looked into the lead that actually brought him back to his brother.

It was a case of "Get bitten a crap-ton of times, finally get shy."

Both brothers contributed to this problem. Dean's rejection probably had hurt Cas more, due to their "profound bond" and all that. Castiel had always preferred Dean over Sam. Sam had often wondered if it was more than just a preference when it came to Dean, but the angel had never acted on his feelings if there were any. And after the past year, more awareness of how he feels or not, Castiel would probably never reveal his feelings if he had them. The angel had already been pushed out of their lives and had only been allowed to be close to them when he had powers and was helping with a case.

This was wrong. Castiel was a friend and, more importantly, family. He never should feel that Dean and Sam didn't want him around, but considering that all of them had trouble communicating how they feel, it was no surprise that this had happened.

Sam began to think of a way to try to get Cas to realize that the Winchesters needed and wanted him around. Then, he realized he wouldn't be able to fix this.

Dean was going to have to be the one to fix this problem. Cas would only really come home for him.

Dear Lord.

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><p>The first thing to do was to get Dean to realize the problem, and to realize the reasons behind the problem.<p>

So, Sam decided to approach this the same way that he had to whenever emotions might be involved in a conversation.

"Hey," Sam walked up to Dean where he sat at one of the library tables using a laptop. He handed a beer to his brother and received a grunt in response.

Okay, so Dean wasn't really in the mood to talk.

Then again, when was he ever in the mood to talk? Of course, he did seem to like having talks with Cas, but that was beside the point.

"I've been meaning to ask you about something." Sam continued, ready to give the puppy eyes if that's what it took.

Dean narrowed his eyes at him, probably sensing a potential chick flick moment. "What about?" His eyes glanced at the arm that held the Mark, but that wasn't today's topic.

"Why do you think Cas doesn't hang out any more?" Sam made sure that he looked confused and upset. Dean couldn't find out that he had already figured everything out.

Dean snorted. "Why the hell should I know? Cas has always been fluttering off to who the hell knows where." He took a long drag on his beer.

"Yeah, but he used to stick around a bit more." Sam knew his face would be what Dean liked to call his puppy dog face and he didn't even have to try. After all, he did find the fact that Castiel no longer hung out with them upsetting.

His statement caused Dean to pause. He put down his beer. "Yeah, I guess he did." He started to get a contemplative expression.

"I wonder if something's happened. After all, I can't really think of any reason why he'd stay away." That was really the first outright lie he had told, but he reminded himself that this was for Cas and, more indirectly, Dean.

"Huh. I wonder." Dean picked his beer back up and took a swig.

Sam let the conversation drop there but that was fine. The seed had been planted. It generally took Dean a few days to come to a conclusion when it came to potential chick flick areas.

For now, Sam just enjoyed sitting back and drinking beer with his brother. He tried to push out the thought that Cas was out there with probably only Hannah for company.

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><p>A couple days later, Dean was the one who approached Sam.<p>

"Do you think we pushed Cas away?"

Sam looked up from the book on Babylonian lore he was trying to translate. "Do I what?" He asked, confused as he tried to get his mind onto a different track.

"Do you think we pushed Cas away?" Dean's face showed that he was completely serious.

"Why would you think that?" Sam put down the book and gave Dean his entire focus. For this to work, he needed to know that Dean knew exactly why.

"Well," Dean scrubbed his hand over his face, "I kinda kicked him out, you know, when Gadreel told me to." He glanced at Sam knowing that this was a sticky subject. "And to keep you safe, I kept pushing him away and, well," he looked a bit sheepish, "I may not have been as…understanding, if you will, about how he ended up living."

"Ah, yeah." Sam said, as though this had just occurred to him now that Dean had said that. "I can see how that may make him not feel welcomed."

"It probably made him think we only need him around for his powers." Dean continued bitterly. "Though it's not like that would be the first time."

"What?" Now, that was unexpected.

"Well, remember that Rachel chick?"

Sam thought for a moment. _Rachel?_ "Oh." The memory came back to him. "Cas's lieutenant, during the war with Raphael."

"Yeah, her." Dean nodded. "She said that we weren't really his friends, because we only really called him when we needed something."

"Oh…" Wow, this problem was a lot older than Sam had realized at first. How the hell did Dean remember this stuff?

"So, we gotta make him know that we need him here and that we want him here. With or without powers." Dean concluded.

"Yeah." Sam agreed with that sentiment fully. "So what's the plan?"

Dean stared at him. "I was hoping you would have one."

Sam resisted the urge to smack his head against the table. "Well, why don't you just tell him, and make it clear, that you want him to be here?" He asked simply.

"What?" Dean looked startled. "I don't do chick flick moments, Sam!" He protested.

"Yeah, but how is Cas going to figure it out unless you tell him directly?" Sam pointed out. "It's not like he really gets the subtleties of emotions or hints. You need to tell him upfront or he won't pick it up."

Dean sighed, but he seemed to get the message. He pulled out his cell phone. "Why do I have to do it?" He pouted, though Sam knew that Dean would never admit to doing so.

"Because he's _your_ angel." Sam deadpanned.

"Ha Ha." Dean replied. "Bitch."

"Jerk."

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><p>It took a couple more hours of explaining and convincing for Dean to actually make the call. Of course, he immediately put it on speaker with a smirk directed at Sam to tell him that he was also going to participate in any chick flick moments.<p>

Sam could deal with that as long as this worked.

The phone rang three times before Castiel picked up.

"Hello, Dean." Cas's voice came through the speaker.

"Hey Cas." Dean grinned at the phone. Sam wondered if Dean even knew he did that whenever he talked with Cas on the phone. _Probably not_, he figured.

"What do you need?" was Cas's next response, and Dean and Sam glanced at each other as if confirmed what they had been talking about.

"What? Can't a guy just call his friend to say 'hi?'" Dean tried to joke and Sam sent a glare his way.

"I suppose so." Cas mused. "But you don't. So, what's wrong?"

The fact that Cas thought they would only call when they needed help or something was wrong made Sam's heart break, and, looking at Dean, his brother felt the same way. They exchanged another glance.

"There's nothing really wrong." Dean said. "It's just that Sam and I noticed that you never really hung out anymore and wanted to ask if you wanted to. You know, hang out."

There was a very telling pause. "Hang out?" Cas asked it like he had never heard the concept before.

The brothers shared a look. "Yeah." Dean said. "You know, kick back, watch a movie, see how far that knowledge that Metadouche downloaded goes?" Dean raised an eyebrow at the phone. "You do know what hanging out means, right?"

There was that pause again. "I would not wish to burden you or Sam." Cas's response was nervous, hesitant, and it confirmed all of what Sam and Dean had thought was going on.

"I'm fine with it." Sam said to the phone, making his presence known.

"Oh, hello, Sam." Castiel greeted him.

"Yeah, yeah." Dean waved it all away. "But seriously, dude, come hang with us. You can even bring that chick Hannah with you."

There was silence from the phone. That was not a good sign.

"Cas?" Sam asked, knowing that something was wrong. "Did something happen to Hannah?"

There was a low sigh. "Hannah has returned her vessel to her family and gone back to Heaven." Cas's voice was a mixture of sad and guilty. Sam knew that if Cas were standing before them right now, he would look like a puppy that had been kicked and then left out in the rain.

Sam couldn't help but wince. After all, it seemed that another person that Cas cared about, that he was close to, had left him behind once more.

"You better not be thinking something stupid." Dean growled, and Sam looked at him, surprised. Apparently, Dean had heard more in that statement than he had since he thought Castiel was thinking something stupid, but then again, Dean had always been better at speaking Castiel.

"I'm not." Even Sam could hear the lie in his voice. Seriously, how the hell did the angel manage to lie to them for a year? He was terrible at it.

"Oh, so you're not thinking about giving Jimmy back to his family and skipping out on us?" Dean asked in a slightly mocking tone. Still, Sam could hear the anger and slight panic underneath his tone. Dean really didn't want Cas to leave them, not like that.

Cas was quiet for a moment. "I can't." He sounded guilty and resigned.

"Can't what?" Dean huffed.

"I can't." Cas repeated. "Jimmy… Jimmy's been gone for a long time, Dean."

Both brothers sat in stunned silence. In truth, Sam couldn't remember the last time he thought of Jimmy. He looked at that body and saw Cas, not giving a thought over the fact that a man had said yes to let Cas occupy that body. It was kind of like with Adam. Out of sight, out of mind, especially when there were plenty of other things to think about.

"What do you mean 'gone?'" Dean asked quietly, more subdued. He could probably tell that this was yet another topic that Castiel was sensitive about.

"After the Apocalypse, after Stull Cemetery…" Cas's voice trailed off. "He couldn't take it anymore. He wanted out. So I let him move on, to Heaven." Cas sounded incredibly guilty. He finished quietly, "After everything I had done to him and his family, it was the least I could do."

Sam could almost imagine Cas. He shoulders slumped over like they held the weight of the world. His eyes and expression would be like that of an abandoned puppy. Because he had been abandoned, and Jimmy was just one of so many that had left the angel behind. It seemed to Sam at that moment that everyone was always leaving Cas behind, long before the Winchesters even stepped on the scene. Even Sam had never experienced as much pain in that regard. Even in the darkest moments, Sam always, always had Dean.

Cas had no one.

Sam looked over at Dean, and he knew that his brother had come to the same conclusion. Also, by the clench of his jaw, his brother had the full intention of doing something about it even if he had to have a chick flick moment.

"Cas. Get your feathery butt back here to the Bunker." Dean ordered.

"Uh, okay?" Cas sounded confused. "But why? You said you didn't need – "

"We do need you, dammit." Dean looked about half a moment away from punching the wall. "Cursed or not, helpful or not, we need you. I've told you before, _I_ need you." There was something about the way he said that that seemed significant to Sam, but he decided to overlook it just like he would overlook this chick flick moment. "And we want you here, man. So come to fuck home already."

There was a stunned silence on the phone. "Home?" Cas sounded so hopeful that it broke Sam's heart. He also seemed a bit stunned that anyone would want him around or want to share a home with him.

"Yeah. Home, moron." Dean said a bit indulgently. "You know, where you live with your family and stuff?"

"Family… oh, I – " The way Cas was flustered would almost be cute if it wasn't sad that he hadn't understood his place in the broken Winchester family. "I'll come back right away." He finally said.

"Good. See you then."

"See you, Cas." Sam waved at the phone.

"I will see you then." Cas actually sounded happy, and that was a rarity. There was a click as the angel hung up the phone.

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><p>The next day after Cas drove up in his pimp car, both Sam and Dean made sure to give the angel a hug, which he happily returned. They all retreated into the Bunker, and as Sam watched his brother and his brother's angel argue about the different Star Trek series, he felt content.<p>

He knew this wouldn't last long, because things never lasted lone for them. Still, Sam's plan had worked and Cas was back home, knowing that he was wanted and needed here. For a moment, Sam's family was together and complete.

And that was enough. For now.

Next on his list was to see if the angel really had any feelings for his brother and to see if they were returned.

After all, Destiel or DeanCas or whatever really was very interesting.

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><p><em>AN: So this is my attempt at writing from Sam's perspective. I did it once before, but that was, like, for 2 seconds and I didn't really show any of his thoughts. I love Destiel, but I also like Sam and Cas's friendship and bromance. We didn't really get to start seeing it before last season when Dean was practically shoving the two together, but even before that I liked their interactions. Still, this was based on me watching this past week's episode and I was sad when Hannah left, mostly because Castiel was all alone again. Then I realized that Cas always gets left behind, by Gabriel, by Balthazar, by the Winchesters, by everyone really, and that made me even sadder. So Sam, being the brains of the operation, figures this out and actually does something about it, because he and Castiel are bros. Then I just threw in that little bit at the end due to Sam's fascination with the musical and the concept of Destiel. So tell me what you think. Did I get Sam right?<em>


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